So the first step is to develop your ability to practice ‘self-love’ in the true sense of what is meant spiritually by the term.
Self-love is all about fundamentally understanding your own needs and being aware of your own qualities in ways that will actually help and enable others. In many senses, then, truly understanding self-love really is more appropriate at Christmas than at any other time of year as it is ultimately a selfless thing.
Achieving a deep understanding of self-love is valuing yourself as a truly unique individual, as important a piece of what is divine in our universe as anyone else. This is not to be confused with self-absorption or self-pity and it most certainly isn’t about acting in a selfish way to get whatever you want.
Don't feel guilty about giving love to yourself as well as others this Christmas
When you love yourself, you love to help others but you also understand what you need to function properly – and what is your birth-right, to be treated with respect and to treat others likewise. When you truly respect yourself, you respect other people, too. The two go hand in hand and are of equal importance.
Many people confuse this respect for the self with getting what they want in a materialistic way. That is not true self-love. So, for example; buying yourself an expensive sports car following a windfall may be no bad thing. But this isn’t the same things as self-love, particularly if the purchase is made because you feel you need to increase your self-esteem. You may well decide to be a little self-indulgent and to take pride both in who you are and what you do, having the inner courage to truly be yourself and to express yourself in whatever way you see fit. But only when this is internally-driven from the soul rather than something done to impress other people is it really self-love.
So for most people, being comfortable about who they are and accepting the differences with others is a positive step forward. Perhaps the Desiderata sums it up best when it says to “speak your truth quietly and clearly”. But it also encourages to listen to others, including the “dull and the ignorant” because they too have their story. Doing what you believe to be right through a true love of yourself almost always involves helping other people, being kind and generous to others – and acting selflessly.
If you’re doubtful about the truth of this later statement, then try something out. Try doing a random act of kindness for someone else, even if that act is completely anonymous and the recipient of your generosity will never know that you were the benefactor. See how it makes you feel deep down inside. And if ever anything ever came close to the true spirit of the “Christ-Mass” then surely true self-love is it.